Chettan

Aa divasathinu chila chithariya ormakal undu. Broken memories..oru rathri achante officile chila maamanmar veettilekku keri varunnu, Amma vaathilkal lokam idinja mukhabhavathode avare nokki nikkunnu. Avar aduthu chennu entho pathinja swarathil paranju, Amma ettu naadum potte nilavilich akathekku oodi..aa rathrikku pinne ormakalilla..

Pittennu ravile unarumbo muthal veettil motham aarokkeyo oodi nadakkunnu. Chettan veettilethi, pakshe entho, hallil nadukku angu kidappaanu full time. Asaadharanamaaya oru kidappu. Oru orange uduppaanu ente ormayil pullikku. Sheri aano enn arnjuda, athaanu pakshe orma. Nadukku kidakkunnu, vella puthappu okke eduth moodiyittundu. Chuttum Ammayum Ammummayum oru koottam parijayam ulla aalukal okke, avarkkellam entho oru vyathyasam und. Parijayam illatha entho oru bhaavam mukhathu. Lokam nashtapettathinte thakarchayude bhaavam onnum thirichariyaan ulla vivaram 3-4 vayassullappo evdenna..ellarum Karayunnu, bhaavam kadukkunnu. Puthiya aaru vannaalum nilavili veendum onnukoode, veendum anakkam illathe chaanjirikkunnu. Achane kanda ormayilla aa samayathengum.

Purath nalla veyilaanu, kalikkan pattiya kaalavastha. Aarum pakshe ath sradhikkunnilla, pathivu pole kalippikkaano kazhipikkano onnum aarum sradhikkunnilla enn ormayundu. Aa samayath thalayile vella kettum aayt urangunna chettane poyi Kalikkan varaan vilichathum ormayundu..nirbandhich vilichittum pulli nalla urakkam aanu, eneettu varunnilla. Uduppinu pidich valikkan nokyappo, aaro purakilude vannu enne payye pidich neekki. Chettan urangua mone, ippo varilla enn paranj enne adutha muriyilekku kondu poyi.

Pinne ethokkeyo auntymaar enne food kazhipichu, purathekku kondu poyi. Ammumma paranjittaavanam, veedinte sideil oonjalil kalikkan okke vittath ormayundu. Sadarana athinu anuvadam kittaan paadanu. Athukondu ath njan nannaytu kalich aghoshichu, veettilekku aalukal vannu pounnath nokki irunnu ente lokath ingane...

Pinne orma entho valya sambhavam nadakkunnath pole ellarum pettannu busy aayathaanu. Veettinakathunnu pettannu ammedem ammummedem okke Karachil fresh aaytu ochayil varunnu. Enne angottonnum vidunnilla, aaro veedinte sideile vaathilkal pidich iruthiyekkuayrnu ennu thonnunnu..nokkumbo aalkoottam. Etho kore maamanmarum, achanum undennu thonnunnu..veedinakathunnu entho eduth veliyilekku varunnu. Nirthaatha nilavili chuttum. Ellarumkoode tholilo, thalaykku meleyo pokki pidichittundu, ichiri neelam ulla vella puthappittu moodiya entho onnu. Kondu povalle, ente mon poye ennokke aavarthich Ammem Ammummem okke bhayangara nilavili, pakshe avar kondu ponu. Aarum avare thadukkanum nokkunnillayrnu. Athenda avar ithrem paranjittum kekkathe cheythe enn njan ingane wonder adich irunnu. Sadarana ennodu enthelum paranjittu cheythillel deshyom vazhakkum adiyum okke tharunna achan aanu e paranjaal kekkathe eduthukondu pokunnathu. Ammayanenkil ath sammathikkathe bahalam vekunnu, pakshe pidich nirthaano adi kodukkano onnum povunnilla..angane oru vann bahalam okke aaytu, aa koottam angu gate kadannu poyi. kure neram veettile aa karachilum nilavileem ingane thudarnnu.

Athinu shesham, chettane veettil kandittilla. Kalikkan aale kaanathe aayappo, njn athinte kaaranam entha enn chodichappo annu aaro paranju, Kore naal ingane kandondirikkum, pettannu oru divasam avar urangum, pinne avare engotto kondu poum, pinne thirich varulla..ithine aanu Marichu poyi enn parayne ennu.

Aa praayathil, Athaanu Maranam.

Old.

 For far too long, i have let myself grow old. Let myself get comfortable in the undisciplined monotony of laziness. Convinced myself to believe "This is it. This is all you can do now. You are no longer the young, disciplined version you used to be. You have lost your health, your strength. Your body isn't gonna listen to you anymore. Its not working to your commands. You're done calling the shots. Your weakness has got the better of you. Life has laid the terms of reality."

In the name of cutting myself some slack, a temporary cheat day, consoling myself with the comfortable lie that its all good, you need to relax more, its ok to take the day off and start tomorrow, I let myself slide far down the hill I had so meticulously climbed.

Soon, tomorrow never showed. I stopped looking into myself for the inner push, for the self motivation that used to drive these nonsense out n shut the gates on them. "Settling down", I called it.

Price of not tending to those hard earned gains- this diffident, abashed existence posing to be my eternal destiny.

Its missing now. What once used to reflect in every stride, word n gesture I made, now resides somewhere far beyond that mocking horizon. Yes, its mocking me with a twisted grin. Quite confidently too. Coz it knows that This pathetic version of me no longer has it in to strive n cut that gap. He's not gonna get off that lazy ass n start chasing it.

News for you buddy.

I'm coming. To knock that grin off your face.

Run.

What's the point?

Its funny how the world is ruled by numbers. Dates, time, money, speed, head-count. Many different forms. Whether you are a Gambler trying to make the big bucks, or you are a lay man trying to make your rent. Its true, what somebody once said. There’s strength in numbers. It rules us in and out, every day, every moment of our lives.

Everybody has their own little circles. Their own worlds. In some worlds it matters if you are the fastest. For some, its about having the most; for some, its about having the biggest. Achieving the most, may be the longest, may be in the shortest, getting the biggest, tallest, maximums. Minimums. all different extremes, determined by the illusion we have found for our own sake – numbers. Unknowingly everyone has slaved themselves to it. Everybody strives in the race to prove it in their own circles, whichever matters to them. To prove to the rest of their world that they are, in fact, better than the other.

There are a zillion circles in this world. And there may be a million among them that you would be interested in; that you would like to belong to. There comes a point in every man’s life, when he doesn’t know and has to choose, which one he wants to belong to. Many look promising, many look alluring. But when you get into the heart of it, it may not be what you saw from the outset at first. The pressure inside to make your mark, to get your foot firm, often never matches what you expected when you jumped in. The numbers expected of you and what you expect from yourself, doesn’t match. It’s quite a confusing stage to be in. and very Few actually, narrowly get through without having to tumble in this abyss. For the rest, it’s the same story. Joining the rat race. Its about trying to identify which world it is that you would be able to ‘excel’; be the ‘best’ in. Which one is it, that you would be able to achieve the satisfactory Number as dictated by the earlier gods of the circle who have Been there, Done that. Its in this confusing state that you often get the question lingering in your mind. “What’s the point?” Why do I have to, what is it that I have to do.

Seeking answers in the everyday counts and rolls that pass by you, trying to prove to yourself what and why is it that you want to achieve it. What it is that you are trying to find, get or make. As I drag on, the question remains..

What’s the point?

A Really Strange Dream.. Or Was It...?

yesterday, i had d strangest dream..i ws prisoner in sum sort of institution..guarded by my Classmates,who always kept an eye on me to prevent me frm escaping..n i always tried to escape wenevr i found a chance..even jumpd out many tyms,but d guards wud track me down n take me back..i ws locked up in d auditorium...once i jumped out n went around d institution, ended up in d roof of an abandoned building..each floor had a balcony..i kept climbing down by jumping frm balcony to balcony...on my way down,i saw guys in lab coats,in sealed rooms, doing weird experiments on sum other prisoners..had to get outta thr..they had seen me n were chasing...after my last jump,ended up in a Very big,open field..had buildings all around,but d field ws quite big..running a lot..reached d backside of d auditorium whr i ws lockd up..went in ..abandoned..no guards,no1 around..wat d hell???

Devaswom board LOOTING at SABARIMALA

Has anyone heard abt d insanity at sabarimala by devaswom board???d Prasaadam [not d Aravana n Unniyappam] dat was being given out for Free to devotees, is being put on SALE from this season!!! d rates r Rs. 5 n Rs. 10/-.. seem like a Small amount to b shocked at? well.think again.u havent considered d amount of ppl goin to sabarimala in 1 season.this year [2010],a SINGLE DAY revenue from sabarimala,is 1 CRORE 86 LAKH.thats d kinda amount they get, coz thats d amount of devotees visiting d temple.n considering d sensitivity of d issue in our State,noone will ever understand if anyone points out dat Whats happening is Plain business n ppl shud Protest.after taking 41 days Vritham n taking on all d hardships of d travel,noone would consider just visiting d temple,praying,n returning without buying d prasaadam."just 5 rupees n 10 rupees na,not a big deal.i l buy it".dats Kerala.but think, 5 Rupees,from just a 100 ppl,makes 500 Rupees.n sabarimala sees lakhs (if not Crores), of devotees each Season.calculate d money dat flows in wid dat kinda numbers,n i l b awed if u could still remember all d digits from start to finish..
I suggest people react to dis looting by devaswom board.
2 options-

1) Boycott Sabarimala 4 just ONE season.god resides in our hearts,not in sabarimala alone.u can pray at local temples too.its not that only at Sabarimala,the Lord is powerful.if u pray wid ur heart,god wil hear u even from ur home pooja room.now if this suggestion is not at all acceptable for die hard devotees,i hav another suggestion.


2) Just go to Sabarimala, seek Lord Ayyappa's blessings,n return home with a contented heart..DONT buy ANYTHNG.not d Aravana,not d Unniyappam,not d Prasaadam,no NOTHING..its not GOD at d counter selling Prasaadam,its Devaswom board ppl.u went to seek lord's blessings,tell ur problems,seek solace,pray for loved ones right?ur purpose is fullfilled.u dont need to Eat what's given at d temple to get Blessings.ur good heart is more than enough for that.

if ppl would understand n do this, Devaswom board wil cum begging to ur house in 2 days.if u read this n feel that i wrote this to gain ANYTHING personally,u can ignore this n go on with ur business.else,plz keep spread awareness against d looting.
Thank u,may god bless u.

Lost in a Hostile world....

Gone are the times when i used to Wish to be alone but never got that chance..when life was all fun n no sulking.when a simple 'hai' or 'miss you' would be greeted with enough warmth to fill my heart..when there was no need to be Off coz there were always dependable guys around to pick me up if i fell..when i longed for the night to end, so that i could be with d sincere souls who were just as excited to be together again..where 9 to 4 was more eagerly awaited than the 4 to 9..when i could fall with eyes closed n never have to worry about looking back,coz there would always be someone to break my fall.

Today as i stand n look around, i see a new definition for the word 'Friend'-someone who finds you useful for a while, then moves on without so much as a Bye..all the care-free times of joy n "I'm here for you" have vanished..just a lot of memories to weep on..no more can i lie down n rest assured that i wouldn't be left behind; that they would surely come to pick me up..time to get ahead with life,move to the next phase.i know.n i see many examples in front of me to follow too.all the smiling faces have turned to cold-hearted blocks of emptiness that sets in as part of making yourself Independent n Self-centered.fit for the modern world,i guess..true 'professionals'...."stand aside n clap for me, or get outa my life.."...am just a little confused..what happened to 'best buddies' n 'friends forever'?

Kerala University = Easy Money.

Well, I dont think i need to give a special intro on dis one.any unlucky chap who happened to b a student under d kerala university will knw wat am talkin about,right?after my day at d university to register 4 my supplementary xams,i hav d urge to speak about d money making machine dat d kerala university has turned into..

                     I hear in d news dat kerala gets its major revenue from d liquor industry.i gues no1 ever tried counting d University profits.for if they did,am pretty sure u wud find Rs. 20 per application form (which is,in fact,nothing more dan a piece of printed paper 2 enter ur details,n d subjects 4 which u wanna appear) is much more of a profit dan, wat, 200 Rs per bottle(?).n i must tell u that its a Separate form for Each Semester.so if u r that not-so-rare lucky guy who got a back paper in each of ur 8 semesters of engg,then Congrats.u won urself d big prize. frankly, i mus say, d esteemed Vice Chancellor has indeed taken good business training b4 he enterd d university business.may b he got his training from lalu prasad yadav.

                    I extend my sincere my sincere gratitude to d F**kin VC 4 making d lives of every engineering student,a living hell.indeed,words in d accepted dictionary of refined English r not enough to express my feelings for dis disgusting creature that wears d VC suite.d 1st time i heard about d new VC was wen he announced d new fee structure for supplementary n improvement exams.d bloody Son of a B****h increased d fees,by about 50 Rs PER SUBJECT.he must hav done statistical studies n found d treasure waiting for him - students rarely pass all semesters widout back papers (wich,in turn,is Also a contribution of d great efficient teaching mechanism in d coleges under d Same University.wonder y Mr. Know-it-all good-for-nothing dint take any relevant steps towards improving things on Dat side of d deal.wasn't profitable enough, i guess.y bother,right, dumb-ass?).so d big Einstein figured he would just go ahead n squeeze d poor chaps of their life blood, coz he knows that Once a guy's In d engg stream, he Has to get thru all d papers in-order to get anything Useful out of all d trouble.Moron.

                     Right now,as it is,u gotta pay 100 bucks per subject, plus all d extra Undefined charges that goes in d name of base fee n CV. but hey!there IS 1 plus point..! If u get more than 4 back-papers in 1 semester, then u r in for d mega discount.only 200 Rs for valuation.happy happy happy..is dis bloody idiot actually telling d engg. guys to get more than 4 papers so at they can get d reduction?what kind of a demotivating, useless jerk with not so much as a Brain cell is dis guy?????n how d hell did he make it to d VC post of a University, with such a mind set??raised d fees for regular exams by more than 300 Rs, improvement n supplementary exams by such margin, revaluation forms have their own stories. perfect pandemonium. good going, jackass.

                     Seriously, d big guy who runs d university now,has some absolute complexes up in his vacuum head,so to speak.not my opinion alone.i have heard on separate occasions,from friends n people including my college authorities, that this guy has a considerable number of loose screws.may b its personal/family issues,may b his wife ran away with a beggar(wouldn't blame HER if she did.),may b its just his sadistic character that's bugging him,or may b its just that this shit-face was just a victim of a bloody child abuse.well, whatever d reason,i got 1 thing to tell this man."SCREW YOU!".